SIPPY CUPS ARE NOT FOR CHARDONNAY AND OTHER THINGS I HAD TO LEARN AS A NEW MOM

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Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay

Author : Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
ISBN : 1416940839
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 86.26 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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The moment the second line on the pee stick turns pink, women discover they've entered a world of parenting experts. Friends, family, colleagues, the UPS delivery guy -- suddenly everybody is a trove of advice, much of it contradictory and confusing. With dire warnings of what will happen if baby is fed on demand and even direr warnings of what will happen if he isn't, not to mention hordes of militant "lactivists," cosleeping advocates, and books on what to worry about next, modern parenthood can seem like a minefield. In busy Mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old -- you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor"). Stefanie Wilder-Taylor combines practical tips with sidesplitting humor and refreshing honesty, assuring women that they can be good mothers and responsibly make their own choices. A witty and welcome antidote to trendy parenting texts and scarifying case studies, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay provides genuine support, encouragement, and indispensable common-sense advice.
Category: Family & Relationships

I M Kind Of A Big Deal

Author : Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
ISBN : 1439176973
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 80.1 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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WARNING TO READERS: The Author of This Book is Kind of Crazy, Kind of Delusional, and All Kinds of Hilarious Whether she’s driving a limo for former Family Ties star Justine Bateman, dancing in the dark for a rarely seen Bob Dylan music video, or stalking a bachelor reject from TV’s Love Connection, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is kind of a big deal—at least in her own mind. Smart, screwy, and scathingly funny, her tell-all essays capture every cringe-worthy moment of her kind-of famous life. From bombing as a stand-up comic for born-again Christians, to winging it as a singing waitress in an Italian restaurant, to posting open letters to Angelina Jolie and David Hasselhoff, this unstoppable L.A. transplant refuses to give up on her dreams—no matter how ill-advised—and shows us a side of Hollywood better kept hidden. When it comes to funny women—unplugged and unleashed—they don’t get any wilder than Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. . . .
Category: Biography & Autobiography

The Chicktionary

Author : Anna Lefler
ISBN : 9781440529849
Genre : Reference
File Size : 55.75 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Most ladies know the definitions of "low lights," "ruching," and a "tankini." But do they know an "Efron" when they see one? With the Chicktionary, readers will know just what to do and what to expect when faced with terms like:- S**t Show- Denim Rage- VPL- Silpada Party- GNO- Zuckerman- Batcave- Frumping- Martha- Trout Pout- Ohnoyoudidn't- George Glass. So whether they're at a Bitch and Stitch or asked to bring crudites to a baby shower, readers will be ready for any situation. At the very least, they'll know that duck faces and jeggings are never okay.
Category: Reference

365 Things Every New Mom Should Know

Author : Linda Danis
ISBN : 9780736947268
Genre : Religion
File Size : 77.67 MB
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This daily guide to the first year of motherhood combines prayerful, playful, and practical information to energize new moms. Features weekly devotionals and daily activities that foster a baby's physical, emotional, social, and spiritual growth.
Category: Religion

The Three Martini Playdate

Author : Christie Mellor
ISBN : 9781452116549
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 87.21 MB
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Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heardbut things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor's hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today's parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really needand enjoy.
Category: Family & Relationships

Deep Breaths

Author : Michelle Pearson
ISBN : 9781633536449
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 72.61 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Millennial moms: You've survived pregnancy and now you have a newborn baby and you're entering your first year of newborn care. What's next? Deep Breaths: The New Mom’s Handbook to Your Baby's First Year is Michelle Pearson's debut book. In her newborn baby book, this YouTube mom of 5 details: what to expect during pregnancy or what to expect during the first year of motherhood the importance of finding your mother tribe how to embrace motherhood with all of its ups and downs how to continue managing your career how to continue your social life Millennial moms: This isn’t your grandma’s parenting book. YouTube parenting vlogger, Michelle Pearson, brings her inspiring and motivating parenting stories, tips and tricks for the modern millennial mom. From what to expect as the pregnancy develops to the milestones within the first 12 months, Michelle knows that the journey will have highs, lows and the occasional unexpected surprise on social media. Starting a family and caring for the new baby: “Reading Michelle's journey as both a mom and a millennial woman, with hopes and admirations of her own, I couldn't help but feel like I was sitting down to coffee with a close friend, sharing some of our hardest and most beautiful struggles. Michelle's depiction of both the blessings and the challenges that every millennial mom faces, is raw, refreshing, and shows truly how unique the millennial generation is. Sharing her high moments, as well as the low- you get an intimate look into her life as both a young woman and also a mom who is passionate about everything she does. Millennials have both the advantage and the curse of social media, and Michelle so candidly speaks life and hope into a generation of moms who just want someone to tell them they're doing it "right". Jaimie Kight, YouTube Vlogger Key elements of Deep Breaths include: How to become the mom you want to be The good, the bad, the ugly Embracing/finding/defining the mother within Delicate balance A day in the life of a millennial mom iMom Pamper yourself My favorite recipes for the millennial mom
Category: Family & Relationships

Confessions Of A Scary Mommy

Author : Jill Smokler
ISBN : 9781451673784
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 82.79 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.
Category: Family & Relationships

Parenting Illustrated With Crappy Pictures

Author : Amber Dusick
ISBN : 9781460309865
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 40.39 MB
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"The drawings aren't very good, Mama." —Crappy Boy, age 5 Of course you love being a parent. But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up. This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.
Category: Family & Relationships

Hello My Name Is Mommy

Author : Sheri Lynch
ISBN : 0312318324
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 25.79 MB
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The co-host of the syndicated morning radio show Bob & Sheri offers an entertaining look at the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood and explains how to overcome the fears, anxieties, and examples of a dysfunctional childhood to become a mother. Original.
Category: Family & Relationships

Don T Lick The Minivan

Author : Leanne Shirtliffe
ISBN : 9781634509251
Genre : Humor
File Size : 59.88 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Hilarious true stories of raising twins from the author of the Ironic Mom blog: “Shirtliffe is awesome and so is this book.”—Jenny Lawson When Leanne Shirtliffe and her husband, Chris, discovered she was pregnant with twins while they were living abroad in Bangkok, they cried laughing. Then they just cried. Then they got on with the incredible, hilarious adventure of raising two kids in Asia’s city of sin. In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe explores the hazards of everyday life with children, recounting her time as a parent in both Thailand and North American suburbia with humor and touching insight. Even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she comes to realize she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for their therapy fund. And possibly her own. “Comic gold.”—Publishers Weekly “Witty commentary on the common ups and downs of being a new parent, times two.”—Kirkus Reviews “Shirtliffe writes with hilarity and poignancy as to the trials and pains (literally) of motherhood. She is our new Erma Bombeck!”— Elizabeth Boyle “Laugh-out-loud-funny. I swear, she’s living in my house and taking notes.”—Jill Smokler
Category: Humor