NOBODY LIKES A COCKBLOCK

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Nobody Likes A Cockblock

Author : R. Swanson
ISBN : 0692636757
Genre :
File Size : 51.87 MB
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Nobody Likes A Cockblock is a full color paperback children's book for adults about woodland creature moms and dads just trying to get their swerve on. It's 32-pages of inappropriate prose that will leave you laughing about your sad life. It's perfect for birthday parties, baby showers, baptisms, and of course, wedding presents.
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Where Willy Went

Author : Nicholas Allan
ISBN : 9780375983801
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 44.59 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Never before have the facts of life been presented in such an accessible—or novel—way. Our hero is Willy, a little sperm who lives inside Mr. Browne with 300 million friends. Every day Willy practices for the Great Swimming Race. And when the day arrives, he swims faster than his 300 million friends to win the prize—a marvelous egg. Then something wonderful happens, and eventually Mr. and Mrs. Browne have a baby girl who has the same winning smile as Willy and who grows up to be a great swimmer. Hilariously funny, warm, and endearing, this is a picture book that appeals on different levels to both children and grown-ups. “Fresh, original, and imaginative. . . . Allan’s achievement is in couching fascinating facts within the construct of a gentle, direct narrative. A little knowledge is a wonderful thing, and as the rest of the facts of life fall into place, Allan’s readers will look back on this book with a mixture of fondness and wry amusement.” —The Guardian (UK)
Category: Juvenile Fiction

All My Friends Are Dead

Author : Avery Monsen
ISBN : 9781452135380
Genre : Humor
File Size : 52.56 MB
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If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.
Category: Humor

Monsters Eat Whiny Children

Author : Bruce Eric Kaplan
ISBN : 1442439580
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 27.72 MB
Format : PDF
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Dad has warned Henry and Eve: If you whine too much, monsters will eat you. Henry and Eve don’t listen, of course. The only problem is, when the monster comes, he can’t find the right recipe for whiny children—and neither can his monster friends! A whiny child salad doesn’t work because there’s paprika in the dressing. A whiny child cake won’t do because the flour spills all over the floor. And whiny child burgers are out of the question because the grill is too hard to light up. Arguments and hilarity ensue. And just when our persnickety monsters decide on the perfect dish…the worst thing of all happens….
Category: Juvenile Fiction

You Have To Fucking Eat

Author : Adam Mansbach
ISBN : 9781617753824
Genre : Humor
File Size : 37.96 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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A New York Times Best Seller One of BookRiot's Must-Read Books from Indie Presses for 2014 One of Flavorwire's 50 Best Independent Fiction and Poetry Books of 2014 "You Have to F***ing Eat makes parents of picky eaters smile." --TODAY Parents "Adam Mansbach...will delight exhausted and exasperated parents everywhere for a second time with You Have to F**king Eat--another children's book that is most definitely not for children." --Entertainment Weekly "An equally hilarious ode to kids at the table." --Huffington Post "Parents, Adam Mansbach gets you. He understood that sometimes your kids just won't go the f**k to sleep. And, in his new foulmouthed bedtime book for parents out Wednesday, he understands that sometimes they just won't f**king eat. And he knows, well, it's really f**king annoying. So how about some f**king comic relief?" --GQ "A likeable variation on a universal f***ing theme." --Kirkus Reviews "A hilarious sendup of the eternal fight between kids and their parents over what to eat and when--if at all." --New York Journal of Books "If you're a frustrated parent with a picky child, or even just one who appreciates 'deranged' humor, especially humor that rhymes, this is a terrific read for you...Parents will enjoy a good chuckle and subtle reminder that everything is better, including parenthood, if tackled with a little bit of humor." --San Francisco Book Review "You Have to F**cking Eat, Sequel to Go the F**k to Sleep, Is Finally F**king Coming...It will arrive just in time to gift it to your brother-in-law, who, upon unwrapping it, will clutch it immediately to his chest and shake his head furiously at his waist-high daughter as she claws at him with her chewed up nails. 'No, no, it's not for you,' he'll say, laughing and crying at the same time." --Flavorwire "An uproarious spoof of bedtime board books." --San Francisco Chronicle "A 21st-century bedtime story for the ages (and all ages) if there ever was one." --Bay Area Reporter "Parents, when your precious angel rips you from your three hours of sleep to demand food that he won't actually eat, you'll want this f'ing book." --Mashable "Forthcoming new book by genius funnyman Adam Mansbach." --BoingBoing "Mansbach freely, fabulously curses out the uncensored truth; Brozman makes sure you'll recognize your irresistible, equitably diverse mini-mes with those all-too-familiar expressions, from utter disdain to overwhelming trust and every little eyeball roll in between." --BookDragon/Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Center "If your kid has never presented you with some new mind-boggling preference at mealtime, I suspect you're lying." --Persephone Magazine "This book is genius. It is what every parent is thinking when their child refuses dinner." --Old School/New School Mom "With this soon-to-be crude classic, Adam Mansbach has nailed it with his undeniable animal/child comparisons all cozily complimented by Owen Brozman's humorous illustration--we dare you not to giggle into your eggnog." --Curious Mom "Illustrations are just as enjoyable and the narrative again paints the perfect picture." --Roundtable Reviews From the author of the international best seller Go the F*** to Sleep comes a long-awaited sequel about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to F***ing Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads new, old, grand- and expectant, a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem. A perfect gift book like the smash hit Go the F*** to Sleep (over 1.5 million copies sold worldwide!), You Have to F***ing Eat perfectly captures Mansbach's trademark humor, which is simultaneously affectionate and radically honest. You probably shouldn't read it to your kids.
Category: Humor

The Night Dad Went To Jail

Author : Melissa Higgins
ISBN : 9781479521425
Genre : Juvenile Nonfiction
File Size : 60.86 MB
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"When someone you love goes to jail, you might feel lost, scared, and even mad. What do you do? No matter who your loved one is, this story can help you through the tough times."--from cover, p. [4]
Category: Juvenile Nonfiction

Can I Sit On Your Lap While You Re Pooping

Author : Matthew Carroll
ISBN : 9781613129333
Genre : Humor
File Size : 82.86 MB
Format : PDF
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As a single dad, Matthew Carroll didn’t always have someone to share in his frequent laughter and incredulity at the various things his daughter, Morgan, said. Hoping to docu­ment some of her best commentary, Carroll took to recording her choicest quotes on his iPhone when she was between the ages of three and five. He then compiled them chronologically in a small homemade volume for friends and family who, compelled by the hilarious and touching content, encouraged him to share it with a larger audience. Can I Sit on Your Lap While You’re Pooping? is the record of the hilarious, crazy, and touching pronouncements of a little girl, but it’s also the irresistible documentation of the love between a parent and child.
Category: Humor

Little Penis A Finger Puppet Parody Book

Author : Craig Yoe
ISBN : 1604333081
Genre : Humor
File Size : 32.47 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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Meet Little Penis, the cute dinky winky you bring to life when you put your finger in the puppet in this delightfully crass and hilarious parody board book for adults. This board book parodies children’s finger puppet books with its bold colors and simple illustrations, but this book is not for children! Instead, put your finger in the hole in the back of the book, and follow the adventures of Little Penis as he goes swimming (poor shrinking Penis!); gets out of bed early, so big and tall; gets a gentle kiss and hug (along with a good hard tug); head to a bar, gets drunk, and hooks up; and more—getting bigger and bigger with the turn of each page. Sometimes he’s up and sometimes he’s down, but there’s a happy ending as he finds his snug, warm place called home!
Category: Humor

If You Give A Mommy A Glass Of Wine

Author : Renee Charytan
ISBN : 1532828764
Genre :
File Size : 74.81 MB
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Being a mother is hard work, and all mothers deserve a good laugh. If You Give a Mommy a Glass of Wine is a modern mother-honoring parody of a classic children's book.
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