MOMS WHO DRINK AND SWEAR TRUE TALES OF LOVING MY KIDS WHILE LOSING MY MIND

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Moms Who Drink And Swear

Author : Nicole Knepper
ISBN : 9781101650943
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 61.71 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.
Category: Biography & Autobiography

What The F Should I Make For Dinner

Author : Zach Golden
ISBN : 9780762443673
Genre : Cooking
File Size : 48.32 MB
Format : PDF
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Don't know what to make for dinner? Is every evening an occasion for duress and deliberation? No more! What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner? gets everyone off their a**es and in the kitchen. Derived from the incredibly popular website, whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com, the book functions like a “Choose your own adventure” cookbook, with options on each page for another f*@#ing idea for dinner. With 50 recipes to choose from, guided by affrontingly creative navigational prompts, both meat-eaters and vegetarians can get cooking and leave their indecisive selves behind.
Category: Cooking

W H Ine

Author : Jennifer Todryk
ISBN : 9781631063350
Genre : Cooking
File Size : 82.75 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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This isn't your ordinary wine pairing book--this is wine pairing for the weary parent! Did your daughter just get out of bed for the twelfth time to ask for a glass of water? We've got the perfect ros� for your sanity. Did your son just have a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store? We've got a Pinot for your pain. Has your child's math homework left you in a state of total depression? Try a Syrah to get you out of that funk. W(h)ine includes fifty perfect pairings to match your child's perfectly rotten behavior! You'll also discover the best ways to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew (hint: use a shoe). As a bonus, each wine featured in the book comes with a sticker, so every time you sample a wine to match a rotten behavior, go ahead and add it to the Periodic Table of W(h)ine that folds out of the book. The sticker groupings will help you determine if your child has behavior problems, attitude problems, or just plain bad DNA! So whether you like your "juice" from the glass, the bottle, or the box, this is the perfect book to wine your way through the joys of day-to-day parenting.
Category: Cooking

Ketchup Is A Vegetable

Author : Robin O'Bryant
ISBN : 9781466857193
Genre : Humor
File Size : 23.88 MB
Format : PDF
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If you don't have anything nice to say about motherhood, then... read this book. Robin O'Bryant offers a no holds barred look at the day to day life of being a mother to three, running a household and the everyday monotony of parenting. It's not always pretty but it's real. Whether she's stuffing cabbage in her bra... dealing with defiant yet determined daughters... yelling at the F.B.I... or explaining the birds and the bees to her preschooler... you're sure to find dozens of humorous and relatable situations. From the creator of Robin's Chicks, one of the South's most popular blogs on motherhood, misunderstandings and musings, comes a collection of essays that will not only make you laugh and cry, but realize that you're not alone in your journey. Sit back and relax, pour yourself some "mommy juice," throw a fresh diaper on your baby and deadbolt the bedroom door to keep your kids out... because once you start reading you'll be too busy wiping away tears of laughter to wipe anybody's butt.
Category: Humor

The Curse Of Drink

Author : Elton Raymond Shaw
ISBN : UOM:39015071648393
Genre : Temperance
File Size : 65.34 MB
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Category: Temperance

Sh Tty Mom For All Seasons

Author : Alicia Ybarbo
ISBN : 9781613127193
Genre : Humor
File Size : 79.90 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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The authors of the New York Times–bestselling Sh*tty Mom are back with a hilarious guide presenting common parenting scenarios with advice for getting through the year the sh*tty mom way. Told in the same tongue-in-cheek voice as the original, this sequel is full of funny parenting tips and relatable stories for contemporary moms. Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons explores the occasions throughout the year that test every mother’s patience and inspire self-deprecating humor and that second glass of wine. With chapters organized by season, the book will teach you how to navigate the bumpy roads of motherhood, learn to laugh at the occasional parenting fail, and maybe even appreciate your own mother. Or not. Sample chapters for the sh*tty mom year include: Fall: “Yes, We All Have to Be Here: The Annual PTO Funsraiser” Winter: “Mom’s Real New Year’s Resolutions” Spring: “I’m Running Off with the Gardner: April Fools!” Summer: “Summer Reading Lists & Other Great Reasons Why You Don’t Home School” The Emmy Award–winning TODAY show producers and self-proclaimed sh*tty moms, Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner, together with humorist Erin Clune, bring you the perfect book for mothers who don’t take themselves too seriously.
Category: Humor

Out Of My Mind

Author : Sharon M. Draper
ISBN : 9781416971719
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 28.76 MB
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Considered by many to be mentally retarded, a brilliant, impatient fifth-grader with cerebral palsy discovers a technological device that will allow her to speak for the first time.
Category: Juvenile Fiction

The Standard

Author :
ISBN : NYPL:33433003180548
Genre : Baptists
File Size : 69.49 MB
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Category: Baptists

I Heart My Little A Holes

Author : Karen Alpert
ISBN : 9780062341617
Genre : Humor
File Size : 20.17 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Category: Humor

Secrets Of Forbidden Love

Author : Cándida R. DeVito
ISBN : 9781463328047
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 56.62 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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A young girl never forgets her first love. But what if this love is forbidden? Despite the age gap, Cndida had a crush on Andrew De Vito since she was eight years old. As time grew, so did her feelings for him. She never thought that one day, he would reciprocate her feelings for him, but he did. There was only one problem. He was already marriedto the church. Cndidas story, Secrets of Forbidden Love, is a beautiful and romantic tale of a forbidden love. It is also a story of love and forgiveness in several dimensions.
Category: Biography & Autobiography