AMBIGUOUS LOSS LEARNING TO LIVE WITH UNRESOLVED GRIEF

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Ambiguous Loss

Author : Pauline BOSS
ISBN : 9780674028586
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 63.35 MB
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When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School
Category: Psychology

Loss Trauma And Resilience

Author : Pauline Boss
ISBN : 0393704491
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 73.65 MB
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All losses are touched with ambiguity. Yet those who suffer losses without finality bear a particular burden. Whether it is the experience of caring for a parent in the grip of Alzheimer? or waiting to learn the fate of a spouse gone missing in a disastrous event, the loss is disastrously coupled with a lack of closure. Bereft of rituals and social support, persons who experience such ambiguous losses find it hard to understand their situation, difficult to cope, and almost impossible to move ahead with their lives. In Loss, Trauma, and Resilience, Boss, the principal theorist of the concept of ambiguous loss, offers new concepts and clinical practices for addressing this critical psychological experience that, in one form or another, touches all of our experiences of loss. Boss draws on research and extensive clinical experience working with families in order to frame a powerful but flexible therapeutic approach. The fundamental goal is to guide readers in the task of building resilience in clients who face of the trauma of loss without resolution. In Part I readers are introduced to the concept of ambiguous loss and shown how such losses relate to concepts of the family, definitions of trauma, and capacities for resilience. Over the course of these first three chapters Boss updates and expands her earlier understanding of ambiguous loss in a way that not only refines the character of the phenomenon but relates the phenomenon to other critical psychological and therapeutic categories. In Part II Boss leads readers through the various aspects of and target points for working with those suffering ambiguous loss. From meaning to mastery, identity to ambivalence, attachment to hope?hese chapters cover key states of mind for those undergoing ambiguous loss. Boss then offers techniques for fostering in clients a healthy and sustainable posture toward loss. Readers are encouraged to lead clients toward modifications of their more typical inclinations to control their situation and resolve all uncertainty. The therapeutic lesson is to learn to live with ambiguity and thereby nurture resilience in clients and their families. The Epilogue addresses the therapist directly and his or her own ambiguous losses. Closing the circle of the therapeutic process, Boss shows therapists how fundamental their own experiences of loss are to their own clinical work. In Loss, Trauma, and Resilience, Boss provides the therapeutic insight and wisdom that aids mental health professionals in not "going for closure," but rather building strength and acceptance of ambiguity. What readers will find is a concrete therapeutic approach that is at once directive and open to the complex contexts in which people find meaning and discover hope in the face of ambiguous losses.
Category: Psychology

Loving Someone Who Has Dementia

Author : Pauline Boss
ISBN : 9781118002292
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 36.46 MB
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Provides guidelines for managing the stress and grief of knowing someone who is suffering from dementia, including how to stay resilient and cope with the emotional strains of caregiving and the meaning of relationships with those who are cognitively impaired. Original.
Category: Family & Relationships

Family Stress Management

Author : Pauline Boss
ISBN : 9781452275673
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 37.15 MB
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The Third Edition of Family Stress Management by Pauline Boss, Chalandra M. Bryant, and Jay A. Mancini continues its original commitment to recognize both the external and internal contexts in which distressed families find themselves. With its hallmark Contextual Model of Family Stress (CMFS), the Third Edition provides practitioners and researchers with a useful framework to understand and help distressed individuals, couples, and families. The example of a universal stressor—a death in the family—highlights cultural differences in ways of coping. Throughout, there is new emphasis on diversity and the nuances of family stress management—such as ambiguous loss—plus new discussions on family resilience and community as resources for support.
Category: Family & Relationships

Cognitive Grief Therapy

Author : Ruth Malkinson
ISBN : 0393704394
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 35.41 MB
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Knowledge, skills, and intervention strategies for the treatment of individuals, couples, and families who have experienced a loss through death of their loved one.
Category: Family & Relationships

Family Stress

Author : Pauline Boss
ISBN : 0761926127
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 32.16 MB
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An anthology of 23 major articles from family stress literature that provides academics and students with an accessible, coherent compilation of writings by past, present and emerging family stress scholars. The book includes classic and current writings from multi-disciplinary streams of work in family social science, social work, nursing, family sociology, family therapy, and family psychology. The chapters address the increasingly diverse and complex family situations of stress and crisis and provide a new generation of family stress scholars with convenient access to a sampling of articles by past and present researchers, theorists, and clinicians. The editor has written chapter introductions that encourage students, researchers, and practitioners to expand their own thinking about the concepts and models of family stress and coping to guide the development of future work in this field.
Category: Family & Relationships

Disenfranchised Grief

Author : Kenneth J. Doka
ISBN : 066917081X
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 51.47 MB
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A rich and full exploration of the myriad of instances where a mourner is deprived of the catharsis shared grief brings. Provides numerous interventions designed to help patients recognize and explore their loss, and find meaningful and appropriate ways to resolve their grief.
Category: Family & Relationships

Sourcebook Of Family Theories And Methods

Author : Pauline Boss
ISBN : 9780387857640
Genre : Social Science
File Size : 58.59 MB
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Origins We call this book on theoretical orientations and methodological strategies in family studies a sourcebook because it details the social and personal roots (i.e., sources) from which these orientations and strategies flow. Thus, an appropriate way to preface this book is to talk first of its roots, its beginnings. In the mid 1980s there emerged in some quarters the sense that it was time for family studies to take stock of itself. A goal was thus set to write a book that, like Janus, would face both backward and forward a book that would give readers both a perspec tive on the past and a map for the future. There were precedents for such a project: The Handbook of Marriage and the Family edited by Harold Christensen and published in 1964; the two Contemporary Theories about theFamily volumes edited by Wesley Burr, Reuben Hill, F. Ivan Nye, and Ira Reiss, published in 1979; and the Handbook of Marriage and the Family edited by Marvin Sussman and Suzanne Steinmetz, then in production.
Category: Social Science

Chronic Sorrow

Author : Susan Roos
ISBN : 9781351999205
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 70.46 MB
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Chronic Sorrow explores natural grief reactions to losses that are not final and continue to be present in the life of the griever. This second edition updates terminology, pertinent research, and the roles the concept of chronic sorrow has come to play in the nursing, medical, social work, pastoral, and community counseling professions, among others. This text also extends the concept’s usefulness to other ongoing losses that are bases for non-ending grief responses, such as serious disabilities. Benefits and social supports are explored in depth, giving readers a practical guide for accessing available resources. Chapters also give guidance for professionals to assist individuals and families who struggle with living with irremovable loss, helping them plan for a future in which customary caregivers can no longer carry the load.
Category: Psychology

On Grief And Grieving

Author : Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
ISBN : 9780743274500
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 66.6 MB
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Shortly before her death in 2004, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler, her collaborator, completed the manuscript for this, her final book. On Grief and Grieving is a fitting completion to her work. Thirty-six years and sixteen books ago, Kübler-Ross's groundbreaking On Death and Dying changed the way we talk about the end of life. Now On Grief and Grieving will profoundly influence the way we experience the process of grief. On Death and Dying began as a theoretical book, an interdisciplinary study of our fear of death and our inevitable acceptance of it. It introduced the world to the now-famous five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the process of grieving and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, all based on Kübler-Ross's and Kessler's professional and personal experiences, and is filled with brief, topic-driven stories. It includes sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, coping, children, healing, isolation, and even the subject of sex during grief. "I know death is close," Kübler-Ross says at the end of the book, "but not quite yet. I lie here like so many people over the years, in a bed surrounded by flowers and looking out a big window....I now know that the purpose of my life is more than these stages....It is not just about the life lost but also the life lived." In one of their final writing sessions, Kübler-Ross told Kessler, "The last nine years have taught me patience, and the weaker and more bed-bound I become, the more I'm learning about receiving love." On Grief and Grieving is Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's final legacy, one that brings her life's work profoundly full circle.
Category: Self-Help